Instead of asking embarrassing question about Salary package, Now girl's parents can simply ask :
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"Does your boy get LPG subsidy?"
Hats off to Modi 😜
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"Does your boy get LPG subsidy?"
Hats off to Modi 😜
Ruzler
Sad but true
A teacher after the dinner she started checking homework done by the students. Her husband is strolling around with a smart phone playing his favourite game ‘Candy Crush Saga’.
When reading the last note, the wife starts crying with silent tears.
Her husband saw this and asked, ‘Why are you crying dear? What happened?’
Wife: ‘Yesterday I gave homework to my 1st Standard students, to write something on topic -My Wish-.’
Husband: ‘OK, but why are you crying?’
Wife: ‘Today while checking the last note, it makes me crying.’
Husband curiously: ‘What’s written in the note that makes you crying?’
Wife: ‘Listen’
My wish is to become a smart phone.
My parents love smart phone very much.
They care smart phone so much that sometimes they forget to care me.
When my father comes from office tired, he has time for smart phone but not for me.
When my parents are doing some important work and smart phone is ringing, within single ring they attend the phone, but not me even...
even if I am crying.
They play games on their smart phones not with me.
When they are talking to someone on their smart phone, they never listen to me even if I am telling something important.
So, My wish is to become a smart phone.
After listening the note husband got emotional and asked the wife, ‘who wrote this?’.
Wife: ‘Our son’.
Gadgets are beneficial, but they are for our ease not to cease the love amongst family and loved ones.
Children see and feel everything what happens with & around them. Things get imprinted on their mind with an everlasting effect. Let’s take due care, so that they do not grow with any false impressions...
A teacher after the dinner she started checking homework done by the students. Her husband is strolling around with a smart phone playing his favourite game ‘Candy Crush Saga’.
When reading the last note, the wife starts crying with silent tears.
Her husband saw this and asked, ‘Why are you crying dear? What happened?’
Wife: ‘Yesterday I gave homework to my 1st Standard students, to write something on topic -My Wish-.’
Husband: ‘OK, but why are you crying?’
Wife: ‘Today while checking the last note, it makes me crying.’
Husband curiously: ‘What’s written in the note that makes you crying?’
Wife: ‘Listen’
My wish is to become a smart phone.
My parents love smart phone very much.
They care smart phone so much that sometimes they forget to care me.
When my father comes from office tired, he has time for smart phone but not for me.
When my parents are doing some important work and smart phone is ringing, within single ring they attend the phone, but not me even...
even if I am crying.
They play games on their smart phones not with me.
When they are talking to someone on their smart phone, they never listen to me even if I am telling something important.
So, My wish is to become a smart phone.
After listening the note husband got emotional and asked the wife, ‘who wrote this?’.
Wife: ‘Our son’.
Gadgets are beneficial, but they are for our ease not to cease the love amongst family and loved ones.
Children see and feel everything what happens with & around them. Things get imprinted on their mind with an everlasting effect. Let’s take due care, so that they do not grow with any false impressions...
a married couples got a letter through post. Inside that there were two complimentary first-class tickets of a new movie in the town's best cinema hall.
The following question was asked in that letter "Guess who sent this? Let's see whether you can identify it".
The couple put substantial effort to guess the sender's name but in vain.
Still, they watched the movie on the scheduled date and came back home.
They got shocked when they opened their house. All the expensive & valuable things were stolen.
There was one letter in the house as well. After reading "By this time you should have identified who gave you the tickets" written in that letter, they yelled with anger...
"Oh God...! They are bloody robbers "..
.
MORAL-:
"Whoever gives freebies to voters is to loot them later. There is nothing free in this world except air that too until trees are there".
The following question was asked in that letter "Guess who sent this? Let's see whether you can identify it".
The couple put substantial effort to guess the sender's name but in vain.
Still, they watched the movie on the scheduled date and came back home.
They got shocked when they opened their house. All the expensive & valuable things were stolen.
There was one letter in the house as well. After reading "By this time you should have identified who gave you the tickets" written in that letter, they yelled with anger...
"Oh God...! They are bloody robbers "..
.
MORAL-:
"Whoever gives freebies to voters is to loot them later. There is nothing free in this world except air that too until trees are there".
Vintage hyderabadi joke.....😝😝
Hyderabadi Customer : Merku Cheque Deposit Karna Hai Kab Tak Clear Karte.
Banker : 2 ya 3 Din Mein Clear Hojata.
Customer : Dono Banks To Amne Samne Ich Hai Phir Itti Der Kaiku.
Banker : Sir, Procedure Follow Karna Padhta, #Misal ke Tor Pe, Agar Ap Qabristan Ke Bahar Accident Mein Margaye To Apku Ghar KU Leke Jate, Gusal Dete, Kafan Pehnate, Janaze Ki Namaz Padhate. Ya Phir Marte Ich Samne Ke Qabristan Mein Dafan Karte.
Customer : Aise khartarnak example nakko de re bawa, samajh gaya main 😁😁😁😂😂
Hyderabadi Customer : Merku Cheque Deposit Karna Hai Kab Tak Clear Karte.
Banker : 2 ya 3 Din Mein Clear Hojata.
Customer : Dono Banks To Amne Samne Ich Hai Phir Itti Der Kaiku.
Banker : Sir, Procedure Follow Karna Padhta, #Misal ke Tor Pe, Agar Ap Qabristan Ke Bahar Accident Mein Margaye To Apku Ghar KU Leke Jate, Gusal Dete, Kafan Pehnate, Janaze Ki Namaz Padhate. Ya Phir Marte Ich Samne Ke Qabristan Mein Dafan Karte.
Customer : Aise khartarnak example nakko de re bawa, samajh gaya main 😁😁😁😂😂
Student 1 : Results are out, come we'll go and see.
Student 2 : I'm with my dad. You see mine and please message me. If I fail in one subject say "Good morning to you". If two subjects, then say "Good morning to you and your dad".
Later,
Student 1 : Good morning to you and your family and neighbors also.
Student 2 : I'm with my dad. You see mine and please message me. If I fail in one subject say "Good morning to you". If two subjects, then say "Good morning to you and your dad".
Later,
Student 1 : Good morning to you and your family and neighbors also.
ಗಂಡ ಹೆಂಡತಿಯನ್ನು ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ಎಬ್ಬಿಸುತ್ತಾನೆ:
ಗಂಡ : ಬಾರೇ, ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ಯೋಗಾ ಮಾಡಿದ್ರೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯದು.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ನೀವು ಹೇಳೋದು ಏನೂಂತಾ? ನಾನು ದಪ್ಪ ಅಂತಾನ?
ಗಂಡ : ಇಲ್ಲ. ಯೋಗಾ ಆರೋಗ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯದು ಅಂತ.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನನ್ನ ಆರೋಗ್ಯ ಸರಿ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತಾನ?
ಗಂಡ : ಹೋಗ್ಲಿ ಬಿಡು. ಏಳಬೇಡ.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದರೆ ನಾನು ಸೋಮಾರಿ ಅಂತ...
ಗಂಡ : ಹಾಗಲ್ಲ. ನಿನಗೆ ನಾನು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಿಲ್ಲ.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನಾನು ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡಿಲ್ಲ ಅಂತ ನಿಮ್ಮರ್ಥ..
ಗಂಡ : ನಾನು ಹಾಗೆ ಹೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದರೆ ನಾನು ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳ್ತೀನಿ ಅಂತ...
ಗಂಡ : ಎ.. ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ತಲೆ ತಿನ್ನಬೇಡ.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನಾನು ಜಗಳಗಂಟಿ ಅಂತ...
ಗಂಡ : ಹೋಗ್ಲಿ ಬಿಡು.. ನಾನೂ ಯೋಗಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗದಿರೋದೇ ಒಳ್ಳೆದು..
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ನೋಡಿ ಅದೇ ನಾನು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು. ನಿಮಗೂ ಹೋಗಕ್ಕೆ ಮನಸ್ಸಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ನನ್ನ ತಲೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಗೂಬೆ ಕೂರ್ಸೋದು.
ಗಂಡ : ಸರಿ ಮಹಾತಾಯಿ.. ನೀನು ನಿದ್ದೆ ಮಾಡು.. ನಾನು ಒಬ್ನೇ ಹೋಗ್ತೀನಿ.. ಸರೀನಾ?
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅದೇ... ನಿಮಗೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ಕಡೆಗೂ ಒಬ್ರೇ ಹೋಗಕ್ಕೆ ಇಷ್ಟ.
ಗಂಡ : ಅಯ್ಯೋ ಮಹಾತಾಯಿ.. ನಿಲ್ಸು.. ನನ್ನ ತಲೆ ಸುತ್ತುತ್ತಾ ಇದೆ...
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅದೇ ನೋಡಿ.. ನಿಮಗೆ ಯಾವಾಗ್ಲೂ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಆರೋಗ್ಯದ ಬಗ್ಗೆಯೇ ಯೋಚನೆ. ನನ್ನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಚೂರೂ ಚಿಂತೆಯಿಲ್ಲ ನಿಮಗೆ
ಗಂಡ : ಬಾರೇ, ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ಯೋಗಾ ಮಾಡಿದ್ರೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯದು.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ನೀವು ಹೇಳೋದು ಏನೂಂತಾ? ನಾನು ದಪ್ಪ ಅಂತಾನ?
ಗಂಡ : ಇಲ್ಲ. ಯೋಗಾ ಆರೋಗ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯದು ಅಂತ.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನನ್ನ ಆರೋಗ್ಯ ಸರಿ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತಾನ?
ಗಂಡ : ಹೋಗ್ಲಿ ಬಿಡು. ಏಳಬೇಡ.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದರೆ ನಾನು ಸೋಮಾರಿ ಅಂತ...
ಗಂಡ : ಹಾಗಲ್ಲ. ನಿನಗೆ ನಾನು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಿಲ್ಲ.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನಾನು ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡಿಲ್ಲ ಅಂತ ನಿಮ್ಮರ್ಥ..
ಗಂಡ : ನಾನು ಹಾಗೆ ಹೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದರೆ ನಾನು ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳ್ತೀನಿ ಅಂತ...
ಗಂಡ : ಎ.. ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ತಲೆ ತಿನ್ನಬೇಡ.
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನಾನು ಜಗಳಗಂಟಿ ಅಂತ...
ಗಂಡ : ಹೋಗ್ಲಿ ಬಿಡು.. ನಾನೂ ಯೋಗಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗದಿರೋದೇ ಒಳ್ಳೆದು..
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ನೋಡಿ ಅದೇ ನಾನು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು. ನಿಮಗೂ ಹೋಗಕ್ಕೆ ಮನಸ್ಸಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ನನ್ನ ತಲೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಗೂಬೆ ಕೂರ್ಸೋದು.
ಗಂಡ : ಸರಿ ಮಹಾತಾಯಿ.. ನೀನು ನಿದ್ದೆ ಮಾಡು.. ನಾನು ಒಬ್ನೇ ಹೋಗ್ತೀನಿ.. ಸರೀನಾ?
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅದೇ... ನಿಮಗೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ಕಡೆಗೂ ಒಬ್ರೇ ಹೋಗಕ್ಕೆ ಇಷ್ಟ.
ಗಂಡ : ಅಯ್ಯೋ ಮಹಾತಾಯಿ.. ನಿಲ್ಸು.. ನನ್ನ ತಲೆ ಸುತ್ತುತ್ತಾ ಇದೆ...
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಅದೇ ನೋಡಿ.. ನಿಮಗೆ ಯಾವಾಗ್ಲೂ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಆರೋಗ್ಯದ ಬಗ್ಗೆಯೇ ಯೋಚನೆ. ನನ್ನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಚೂರೂ ಚಿಂತೆಯಿಲ್ಲ ನಿಮಗೆ
A man was being interviewed for a post of a commando in Army.
Interviewer : We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly, having a killer instinct. So, do you think, you are eligible?
Man : Sir, can my wife apply?
Interviewer : We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly, having a killer instinct. So, do you think, you are eligible?
Man : Sir, can my wife apply?
Son : Amma ninu nange sullu helidiya.
Mom : How many times have I told you? Please speak in English.
Son : Ok Mom, you lied to me.
Mom : When, my son?
Son : You said that my younger sister is an angel.
Mom : Yes, she is.
Son : So why didn't she fly when I threw her from our balcony.
Mom : Ayyo!! Bevarsi!! Yello yesde maguna??
Son : Talk in English Mom. I was just kidding.
Ganchalli bidi Kannada mathadi!
Mom : How many times have I told you? Please speak in English.
Son : Ok Mom, you lied to me.
Mom : When, my son?
Son : You said that my younger sister is an angel.
Mom : Yes, she is.
Son : So why didn't she fly when I threw her from our balcony.
Mom : Ayyo!! Bevarsi!! Yello yesde maguna??
Son : Talk in English Mom. I was just kidding.
Ganchalli bidi Kannada mathadi!
The door bell rings in a flat and the woman alone in the house opens the door.
Beggar : Amma please give me something.
Woman : Here take.
Beggar : Please come out and give.
Woman : OK.
Beggar : Ha ha ha, I am Ravan.
Woman : Ha ha ha, I am not Sita, I am the maid.
Beggar : Ha ha ,even better, I still regret carrying away Sita. Mandodari will be happy, we want a maid.
Woman : Ha ha, only Ram came searching for Sita. If I vanish, all the people in the building will come searching for me.
Beggar : Amma please give me something.
Woman : Here take.
Beggar : Please come out and give.
Woman : OK.
Beggar : Ha ha ha, I am Ravan.
Woman : Ha ha ha, I am not Sita, I am the maid.
Beggar : Ha ha ,even better, I still regret carrying away Sita. Mandodari will be happy, we want a maid.
Woman : Ha ha, only Ram came searching for Sita. If I vanish, all the people in the building will come searching for me.
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